I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
