Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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