I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize