i just google imaged poop.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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