Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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