I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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