Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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