I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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