return my video game
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
