Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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