I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
