Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
