Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize