Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
