Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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