I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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