**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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