There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
