i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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