Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
