How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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