i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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