Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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