So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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