My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
