"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize