found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
high people should be assigned attendants
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
