I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
