Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
