New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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