Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
