When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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