I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
