it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
