So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
