the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
