and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
