Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
