I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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