Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
how does that bad decision feel?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
