we have pet lesbian snakes
I look better un-naked...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
