I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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