I'm jealous of your bromance
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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