i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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