Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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