Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
