I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
