you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
