I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
