Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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