its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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