Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
