he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize