just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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