If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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