it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
