Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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