I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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