Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
