I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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