We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize