I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I need moral support for this bender
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize