walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
