watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
