My girlfriend figured out who you are.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
