Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
PANTIES FOUND
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